.. morning thoughts on barbecues and covids..
I've been resting up and thinking about covids. More specifically I've been thinking about the range of a militant covid and the prospect of a barbecue on the patio this Sunday.The government tells us a bloodthirsty covid has a maximum range of 2 metres. But that can't be right. Suppose someone were to launch a few million covids in my direction by coughing upwards into the sky. Like the Bismarck used to do in the war. Newton's laws of gravity saw Germans elevating their turrets to 30 degrees giving their 15 inch guns a range of well over 20 miles.The prospect of someone with both coronavirus and a grudge doing likewise is terrifying. In fact who is to say how far a covid can travel? Surely that depends on the height of a sickly coughing person, the power of their lungs and the angle of his/her head. So to my mind, all these specific social distancing rules need treating with the greatest suspicion. It's nothing like stopping distances in the Highway Code. Covids are far more sneaky than that. Anyway, the point about barbecues is that come Sunday, any infected person who didn't get on with their neighbour could purposely tilt their head back and launch their covids over the garden fence. Successfully bombarding those next door with lethal droplets. A bit like the Americans carpet-bombing in Vietnam.Sends shivers down the spine.Yet thankfully there are ways to combat this threat. For instance I could spend Saturday removing 6 foot high fence panels from the bottom of the garden then screwing them above the fences on our patio. Thus providing a 12 foot high defensive barrier which surely could never be cleared by a covid - no matter how angry it was or how powerful the cough that launched it.But then there are step-ladders to consider.Maybe we could take umbrellas into the garden and sit safely beneath them eating our barbecue. Alternatively we could protect ourselves with oilskin sou'westers - if only we had any.Oh I dunno. In fact I now blame Julian Pavey for putting this stupid nonsense in my head in the first place.What's wrong with everyone staying safely indoors...?
Stuart Kerr ● 2407d10 Comments